I need help removing her.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
