so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
