New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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