Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
