What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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