am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
