we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
