If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
