She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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