Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
