Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
