I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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