Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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