some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
