I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
