Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
