he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We smell like vodka and hangover
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