i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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