Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize