I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
