i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm always down for nudity.
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