btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You were trust falling into bushes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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