My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
