Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
