But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
