Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
