i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
