Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
