thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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