the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
