if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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