He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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