I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
