honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
