is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
