Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize