at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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