dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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