oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
