we have officially lost it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
