Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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