just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
