every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
