You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
