I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
