watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize