Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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