Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
