you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
