He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize