If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
