Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
