I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
