if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
