life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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