i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
