I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
