I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
that is very illegal...i love you.
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