You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize