He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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