It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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