Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
